Five months into a pessimist’s third year

[Excerpts from my personal journal, 5 months apart]

Rotation order: Medicine, Surgery, Peds, OB-Gyn, Flex

Tuesday 5/6/2014 – First week on medicine

Things that went not so well: I am not as charismatic as I can be when I am in a new environment. And around my co-student I feel inadequate.

Continue reading


Our angst-ridden 20’s

A small part of me wonders why working on Wall Street or as a consultant was never a dream for me even though so many of my college friends went into these careers. I understood their dreams and their aspirations, and even admired a few of the ones whom I could tell would be successful or work themselves dead trying. And yet I always sat by smugly in my premed world, knowing that even though our work would be equally challenging (me as a surgeon, they doing what ever it is Wall Street people do at 3 a.m. – fixing spreadsheets? Yelling into expensive phones? Flying to Dubai? Making particularly persuasive Powerpoint slides?) – even though we would both work 80-100 hour weeks – I would be engaged in what would superficially seem the more noble profession.

Yet I never questioned why having to work a 80-100 hour week, whether as a physician or a lawyer or a banker, was something that I valued. After all, what could be more boring than that classmate who graduated college and took up a “corporate job” at some rural head office, working 9-5? Doesn’t that mean you’ve already given up in life and joined the workforce alongside our well-intentioned but oh-so-boring parents?

Recently, however, I read a fabulous Financial Times article about the emergence of a generation of young 20 and 30 somethings who struggle to define their life goals, clinging to what this writer deems “the popular fallacy that you can measure the value of your job (and, therefore, the amount you are learning from it) by the amount of time you spend on it.”

Way to burst the bubble of every eagerly-overworked medical student ever.

Read the article for yourself.